


No 11. Psych 101

by Smiley5494



Series: Whumptober 2020 [10]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Crying, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Whumptober 2020, no 11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26958307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiley5494/pseuds/Smiley5494
Summary: Morgana holds herself to high standards, but sitting in the dark with the white dragon, the ever-present threat of Sarrum looming over them, Morgana allows herself moments of weakness.
Relationships: Aithusa & Morgana (Merlin)
Series: Whumptober 2020 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965595
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	No 11. Psych 101

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:
> 
> No 11. PSYCH 101  
> Defiance | Struggling | **Crying**

Morgana holds herself to high standards, but sitting in the dark with the white dragon, the ever-present threat of Sarrum looming over them, Morgana allows herself moments of weakness.

She grips the white dragon tightly and her shoulders shake as she sobs for who she is, who she was, and who she could have been. Morgana—back when she was still Lady Morgana instead of Morgana the Witch—used to dream. Her dreams used to be sweet, showing peace and light, the faces of her loved ones. Then they were slowly poisoned by fear, becoming nightmares, visions.

Her tears, once begun, come freely and with a vengeance. She cries for the white dragon, for the Druids accused of kidnapping her. She cries for Gwen, for Arthur. She cries for Merlin and for Emrys. But first and foremost her tears are for herself. Who she has become, a woman her younger self would have both hated and pitied. A woman with only a white dragon for company, in a cold, dark, cell, captured by those who torture and kill her kind.

Morgana sobs and the dragon keens and for a moment the pain is gone and she can feel peace. Then the moment passes and she aches both physically and mentally, yearning for love, for health.

Morgana grieves; she’s lost so much, both to her own choices and to others'. She grieves for a noblewoman who believed in peace and justice. She grieves for friendships lost, she grieves for her family, all but one dead. She grieves for the white dragon, with only her for company. Morgana grieves for a younger woman who loved and was loved but feared the things she saw in her dreams. She grieves for the lady who did not understand that the visions she saw carried weight and power beyond her understanding.

She screams her pain, her frustration. She screams her anger to the heavens and wishes for an answer. She screams her prayers, demanding the Goddess’ attention, demanding Her love, demanding a response. She screams and the white dragon howls with her and she almost wishes her father could see her now, could see the woman he created, could see the woman he poisoned with his hatred and fear.

Morgana cries and she grieves and she screams. In her dreams, she can see the futures she no longer believes in. In her dreams, she can almost believe there’s a future for her that lays outside the cell walls. Morgana’s heart is bleeding dry and her mind is a broken mirror, but in her dreams she is whole. In her dreams, she is loved.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finally all caught up now!
> 
> If you want to, come and chat with me over on Tumblr at https://smiley5494.tumblr.com/


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